How to Live with a Big Head

By "big head" I am not talking about conceit, I actually mean the physical size of one's cranium.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Large Noggin

1. Wear your big head proudly, do not be ashamed.
2. Move carefully through crowds. Your melon may be impervious, but I'd guess it can cause irreparable damage to poor souls meeting it forcibly; small headed people are especially susceptible to psychological trauma.
3. Befriend big-headed brethren and gather in spacious areas to socialize.
4. Lean forward when walking or running to increase speed through the momentum of your head "falling forward". Beware turning too quickly, however, as you may find your head unable to stop.
5. Nod often to build neck muscles. Do not "nod off". I recommend such exercise in meetings where management will appreciate the apparent attention. Bonus!
6. Find a mate who enjoys biggens.

Tips & Warnings

• It's not difficult for big heads to stick together, because we consume so much space.
• You can drive a modest vehicle, because you are not self-conscious.
• Your hat will probably fit if you get a hair cut.
• Be aware of your head's position when riding shotgun and respectfully shift it if you notice the driver having difficulty seeing around you.
• Big heads generate more heat than a normal human and can aggravate normies.
• Envious people inevitably fall back on petty insults to protect their own insecurity.
• Flattening pillows like pancakes is a problem, fluff them often and consider buying an economic pack.