How to Do an Anger Release

By hikernb, eHow Member Rating

I Did This Rate: (8 Ratings)

Is there someone in your life who is REALLY getting on your nerves? Are ready to explode at them? Before you do, here's an anger release technique I've been using for over 15 years. The power of it never ceases to amaze me. It works.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

Pen
Paper
Quiet Time
A safe place to burn pages

Step1

Find a quiet spot, get pen and writing paper. Don’t skimp on size or quantity—you don’t want to run out of paper and you DO want a large enough writing surface on which to vent.

Step2

Set a timer for ten minutes or place your watch nearby. Begin writing—pour your wrath, your frustration, your bile about this person onto the page. DO NOT STOP YOUR HAND, DO NOT STOP TO THINK—these are the keys to this exercise. Then when the time is up, put away the anger-soaked pages. Go about your day, no need to explain what you just did.

Step3

Day Two: Find your quiet place again, get out the pages your wrote the day before and read the entire thing, word-for-word. Set your timer again and go for another ten minutes. Same thing, keep that hand moving with no stopping. Then put the pages away again.

Step4

Day Three: Read over the previous pages and then one last time, write like crazy for ten minutes. Put it all away.

Step5

Day Four: Read the entire piece and then find a place where you can SAFELY burn it. As it burns, envision your rage being released. As the smoke billows away, let your anger go with it.

Step6

Now with a clear head and your bags emptied of rage, you can have a talk with the person. If it’s still needed. I’ve had the experience of not even needing to talk, having realized all of the issues were mine. But if there are things to discuss, at least you can talk about them knowing what’s your stuff and what is the other person’s.

Tips & Warnings

Here’s the cool part: You’ve probably realized a thing or two (or three or four) as you wrote. About the other person. About yourself. Things bubbled up from your subconscious because you were writing so quickly and not censoring yourself. You may have gone into the writing thinking your co-worker was a control freak—and then realized you have the same issues and the other person is simply mirroring this back to you.
You may have a lot of pages—so PLEASE be mindful of safety when burning them. Don’t do it indoors where smoke will set off the fire alarm, don’t let embers catch your brush in the backyard on fire. Fireplaces are good, so are cement driveways (where you could place the pages in a tin pie plate). Have water nearby.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, seek professional help. This exercise is not intended as an excuse to stay there. If you need to walk away from abuse, seek help to do so.

Comments

lily1234 said

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on 7/3/2007 So, what if the cause of one's anger is an 86 year old controlling father whom I care for? Part of his behavior is a small amount of dementia, but most of it is the controlling personality he has. I have tried to find courses that would help me direct my anger and frustrations in a positive direction, but all the classes offered thus far are court appointed anger management classes. My anger is much different than this. It's not like I am a walking time bomb. Any suggestions on self help books I could read for my situation? email me at lily_darcey@yahoo.com. I would also like to know I I could deal with this father of mine, who I know has an inferiority complex.

droopy said

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on 5/2/2007 To be honest what happens if you aren't actually able to write anything legible. The idea is great but if someone (me,hehe...)has such bad handwriting how can i be able to read it afterward the idea wouldnt be able to work. So may i suggest people like me to type the problems instead of writting it and than to print it out BEFORE you burn it(Dont burn it while its still on your computer folks).